Sunday, June 27, 2010

I'm going to need a lot of somethings . . .



Hello all,

So, this update is a little rough because I've been busy (you may want to open this link in Google Chrome) with certain changes in my life. There has been lots of dinners and relative meetings.

Anyway this chapter, in retrospect could have been tacked on to chapter 7, in fact it originally was so, it is one of the shorter chapters but it is a launching point for something bigger. I have a huge chunk of this story planned out and leading somewhere, although the course changes a lot.

I have to say I am nervous about planning out ahead because that was what I did with IVB and that contributed a little to why it was so short. I actually have "theme songs" for most of the characters and I'm not sure if they will ever fit in to the tone of the story.

Anyway, I am getting excited about this again, I just need to remember to pace myself.

Cyberspace/Internet

Carleigh asked about this in Chapter 5 and I wanted to wait until now to address it. She asked what the difference was between cyberspace and internet and here it is :

The term "Cybernetics" refers to anything you add to your body to perform a task better. So, essentially *prepare to be freaked out* eyeglasses are a type of cybernetics *okay maybe not so freaked out*

So, in this story the internet and cyberspace are the same thing but, cyberspace is a term used because they use something attached to their bodies to access it, the Syndicates.

Past, Present, Future

Something I try to keep track of but haven't been is how I use my verbs to tell the story. I use a lot of "ing" verbs traditionally but, using present tense creates a more fast paced story. To better explain look at this passage from Chapter 5. This isn't the best example but here is the original :
Low acoustic, auto tuned electroica droned out of invisible speakers and the multi colored light strobed along to the pulses. In the corner rows of white bubbles hosted Stimsim casts.

Compare it to

There was low acoustic autotuned electonica droning out of invisible speakers and multi-colored lights were strobbing along to the pulse. In the corner there were rows of while bubble hosting Stimsim casts.

The first uses present verbs the other doesn't and it sounds a bit stilted.

Chapter 8


Alright so this chapter only has one song because the pacing of this chapter changes a lot and I would rather have one good song than a bunch of random ones.

Chapter 8

No Air by Lea Michele and Cory Monteith


Last Name







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37 comments:

  1. Maybe a new UL can be your something Blue ?

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  2. OMG Squuuuueeeeeeeee! JB is your best man !

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  3. I love how your colors remind me of UL, that is so cool. Congrats Shawna !

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  4. OMG, honey your website is so adorable. Ahh I can't believe it I love it so much ! ! I love the colors but the links don't work so I accessed them manually ! (I felt like a hacker like Sara). I hope I'm invited.

    You know honey your short chapters and mine are nothing alike in length. You know I knew I heard the name Morrisy somewhere.

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  5. *Here Comes The Bride *

    Congratulations Shawna !

    Now that Dakota is dead is Jean still in debt to him ? I remember something like that from chapter 7.

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  6. I love your fiance's suggestions of having a new UL be something blue. Does he know something we don't . . .

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  7. I don't think Alan killing Dakota really makes up for him not killing Morrisey, I think he was just trying to impress Minnie

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  8. Yeah ! Shawna/Erik is canon, congratulations.

    I think now maybe Jean is jealous of Alan but he is jealous that Alan is with Minnie instead of him ):

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  9. Road Trip ! Sound like the next chapter is going to be awesome, seeing as Alan spent the first one in the trunk of a car.

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  10. OMG, you used a UL song on the website, so freaking awesome.

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  11. Hm, I was always hoping you would marry that fifth wheel in the office whats-his-name, but okay !

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  12. ^ did you even read the website ?

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  13. @ Lile - I skimmed it . . . then I realized I'm a bridesmaid went to by a treadmill off ebay.

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  14. So I think either Alan is a badass or kind of a jerk, I mean did he have to kill Dakota ?

    congratulations on the engagement.

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  15. I can see how this chapter tacked onto the other one, it seemed to expand the love triangle between Alan/Jean/Minnow. Although isn't she technically underaged ( I mean they are assassins and it's probably not important but still . . .)

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  16. Wedding websites are always so sweet. Can you raffle off an invitations to fans ??

    What was the "Just in case" from the top of the chapter ? Did he think Dakota wouldn't spill or something ?

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  17. @ Shawna - Oh, I also like the verb thing it's fun to play around with. In August I attempted not to use "ly" adjectives, but in the end decided not to.

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  18. squeeeeeeeeeee ! congratulations

    a wedding announcement and an update.

    I also love glee so this post was made of awesome

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  19. Your wedding website looks amazing, congratulations. The colors are traditional and clean I love them.

    I feel like putting up the wall was a metaphor for something. That no matter what they do the world they live in is always going to eat them up (or rust them away).

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  20. Aw, come on I wanted to see Jean and Alan get into a real fight. . . oh well maybe next time.

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  21. Oh, darn I should have changed the fansites to mimic your wedding colors !

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  22. Is there going to be a wedding CD or playlist ? I had one at my wedding.

    I gotta tell you Luce is freaking me out, if this was a moive he would be played by a young Haley Joel Osmond.

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  23. I think Sara killed Alan's mom, I mean do we *really* know why they kept him alive ?

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  24. I love weddings we all knew it would happen.

    Speaking of things happening what is it will Jean and wanting people younger than him ?

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  25. Tina & Shanw O'neilJune 27, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    Tina – Oh, what kind of smoothies did you have when he proposed. Was it something romantic like strawberry and white chocolate? If you need a place to stay a new two story condo just opened up in our building!

    Shane – It seems like a lot of commenters are forgetting that Minnow and Jean are brother and sister, I’m just throwing it out there.

    Btw – stop posting when I’m supposed to be teaching summer school ):

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  26. Holy crap, that nuclear rain is freaky.

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  27. He. . he proposed with a cupcake ! that is so super sweet.

    I'm kind of glad they offed Dakota but I feel like they would all turn Alan in if the Mojllner came after them.

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  28. Is there some connection with Mjöllnir and The Mjollner ? Or is it just a coincidence.

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  29. You totally rocked that Corinthians quote and made it less corny.

    Speaking of quotes will Sara be rocking any more Latin ?

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  30. There is totally something up with Luce, I have no idea what it is. I think he is like a robot or something.

    p.s.
    The website worked for me in ie8 and Firefox but I downloaded Google Chrome just for you ! (hmmm Chrome ?)

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  31. ^ er, have you been reading the forums.

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  32. Are you and Mr. Vance going to write something together. . . I mean other than your vows ?

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  33. There is something different about the passages but I can't put my finger on it.

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  34. OMG, this UL hints are killing me, ILU Erik !

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  35. Oh, I was talking about the passages you wrote in the blog with the tenses. I would think everything would be in the present because we are looking into the future, or something like that.

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  36. Does Alan not realize that he also depends on Sara, I mean she gives him a place to stay, a job, a girlfriend (sort of).

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  37. Erik -- Or maybe Cobalt ? Or maybe a raise at Cobalt *hint* *hint*

    Obsessed -- He and Erik have developed a bromance type of situation..

    Harper-- Was hoping no one would notice

    Linda-- Oh hon, despite what Erik says you are way more than invited !

    Carleigh-- I mean . . . I would guess not. I'm sure this will come up later

    HappyApple-- He honestly doesn't . . . fiance that sounds strange

    Silver_Phoenix-- Something like that . . .

    Marcia-- IDK, maybe. To be honest I'm not really sure.

    Picture_girl -- That's funny. It's not at SH story without a road trip.

    Maylights-- Ugh, I know I am so lame !

    Greta-- You told me the same thing yesterday . . . Also, I we really wanted all the Cobalt staff to be in the wedding because you guys mean so much to us. . . and Erik and I don't have many friends.

    Peacegoddess-- That is a good question but, aren't most badasses jerks as well ?

    Terri84-- Yes, she is underage, that is kind of important.

    DearRhett-- I will be sure to explain that part in my next blog post. We may Skype the wedding since Erik's parents hate traveling and a lot of my mother's family is in Ireland.

    LindaLeigh-- we are a bunch of grammar nerds 8-)

    Aym-- Thanks ! I couldn't find a decent quality of the original No Air.

    Natalie -- I think your having a case of 'What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolism' but, maybe I did it subconciously. Thanks for the compliments on the site, I still suck at a lot of web stuff.

    Lorrie C-- Yes, maybe . . . Although (and I'm saying this from a non TBTB stance) Jean seems a little to "cool" to get into any real no rules fight.

    Andy-- Don't worry about it. I um, I mean *we* may change our minds again.

    Sawlisa -- I don't know yet ! This is all in the beginning stages but, I may have Lile make one or something. Yes, Luce at this point is a bit of that stock character but, A.I is kind of a cyberpunk movie.

    Tabby-- We only know as much as Alan does which is not very fun.

    Darcy_Lover-- I think Jean has a tiny obsession with youth but, I don't think he knows (or even cares) how old Alan is.

    Tina&Shane-- They were orange-limeberry smoothies. I am probably going to move into Erik loft.

    Shane -- Jean and Minnnie's relationship is supposed to be unsettling . . . that's all I'm going to say on that.

    Coraline-- Isn't it ? I refused to do any real research on nuclear showers so, this chapter was a lot of pontificating.

    Cagirl-- It was very sweet, I wish someone else could have been there to see it because Erik is not usual like that. Also, I didnt always know Alan was going to kill him.

    Trinity-- There is a connection,which I'll give brownie points if you can figure out. I just romancized the word so I would not have to put those two little dots above the o.

    'Nilla Latte-- I wanted to incorporate love quotes from pieces of literature into the site but, that got to be too much work. This will be a somewhat religious ceremony though . . .

    As for Sara's Latin, I'm not sure.

    Constance-- Oh, that's good to know. The music on Our Story page won't play in my firefox or IE.

    NextMrsCullen-- I don't see that in the near future but, maybe I really want him to write a chapter of Veritas or something so people can see what an amazing and serious writer he is. Erik has so many things he won't even publish with Cobalt.

    Califonia_blues . . . eh . . I think I can . . .

    Ashlyn-- To Alan he is there against his will.

    I know I may not have answered every comment but, sometime I have no idea what to say and sometimes I have to much to say. I will keep you all posted on wedding plans and I fixed the links !

    And lile, we really have to get together to chat !

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