Butterflies Fly Away (or The Picture Post !)

New Layout

I made a decision, I love the new blogger. It is so customizable !  I may change my layout every month or so and have it inspired by something.  I already know what next month's theme is. This month's is inspired by a Miley Cyrus album cover I saw when Pandora gave me a Miley Cyrus song (I have no idea what Matt Nathanson and Party in the USA have in common) .  I just liked the font look so, I tried to copy it.

Who's ready for some pictures ?

 I figured since Mimic does take a time leap I should find some new photo inspirations and it amazed me how easily I found some of them.

Kristopher Grace (19)

That is a picture of a young Keanu Reeves. I am actually surprised how many half-Asian actors there are out there including Dean Cain, Tyson Beckford, Chad Michel Murray.

I am also surprised nobody was curious that in CTE, Sara's husband has been dead for 5 years and yet she has a 1 year old son. If someone had asked I'm sure I would have told who his father was.

As I drafted Veritas last February, I knew I wanted one section to have someone who was a child in the original be an adult in the sequels.

I imagine I may have thrown you all off because I realize Kris's name is only said 2 or 3 times in CTE and Hidden. His name was spelled Christopher but, every time I looked at it in Mimic I hated the way it looked. I don't know why I chose that name to begin with. I changed the spelling after seeing a Kris Allen song on the playlist.

Alan Gray (38) and Minnow Dory  (34)

Those pictures are of Josh Lucas and Rachel McAdams (I know she is 32), incidentally enough these two actually dated. Josh Lucas is probably best known as the basketball coach in Glory Road. I have no idea where that particular picture of him is from. McAdam's is from an Elle photoshoot it inspired the dress Minnow wears.


Bonus photo ! ( I love this photo of RM , I had to post it too. The look on her face and lighting really inspired that first scene with Minnie)













Hidden  follows the journey that  leads Alan to becoming a black market surgeon. It starts with him being disgusted by the idea of surgery with Cleoand then accepting it more and more with each patient or doctor he encounters until he gets to Minnow. I originally wanted Alan to change his name to Blackbird and take over for him but, I decided against it. There are a few hints in Hidden about his future.

" He put my leg through an x-ray machine. He didn’t speak much, like Blackbird.

I suppose that is a tactic of geniuses."

--Chapter 8

and then the epilogue.

"I became Channing’s apprentice

Now I work quietly"

Many of you picked up on a creepy vibe with Alan  and Minnow that's what I wanted.

They are both very broken people. Alan  has devoted  his entire adult life to  Minnow  and  nothing else because he feel responsible for what happened to her.

Minnow is very humbled because she got a second chance at life and it traumatized by what happened to her. They  both can't move on which is why they  keep everything.

By the way did anyone catch that the handkerchief Alan clots Julian's blood with is the one Haley wipes Alan's eyes with in Hidden ?

Sara Grace (46) , Twyla Grace (12) & Luce Grace (29)

Julianne Moore, Elle Fanning and Jesse Spencer (doesn't he look particularity evil in that picture ? )

The plan last spring was for the story to be about Luce but, I also really wanted to set it in the night between 2099 and 2100. I was nervous about making the characters so much older but, now I am pretty set about it.

The fact that Kris refers to Jean and Minnow as Aunt and Uncle is supposed to reflect Sara's relationship to them as opposed to Alan. Sara was friends with the Dorys a year before she went on the  run with her husband so at this point they have a 26 year friendship.

Jean Dory (42)

I love this picture of Johnny Depp because Jean has personal space issues and in this image JD  is so close to Keith Richards (the Rolling Stone who play's Jack Sparrow's dad). I think this is from Entertainment Weekly when PoTC 3 came out.

So, yes these characters are older but, still very much anti-heroes.

Part 2

This was originally going to only be two part short story and was drafted as such.  After posting the first section and battling all the story line ideas that came at me like bats, I decided to make this a little longer.

I will say this now, the story uses a retrospective narrative as the storytelling device.  I actually hate this when I read it in a book but, I like it here because in some aspects the retrospective stories are more important than the main plot line.

Part 2

Playlist (In the sidebar )

-1- Ghosts of Reach -- Halo Reach Theme

-2- Collide by Howie Day (thank you Lile for brining this song into my life, I love it !)

-3- A Day Without Rain by Enya

Don't Ever Look Back . . . okay, maybe a little

New Blog

So, yes I have a new blog layout. It is one of the defaults and I am using it so I can put the playlists in the sidebar.

Back to Sundays

*Murder Eyes*

So, as I am sure Linda guessed the song I was holding on to was Drop in the Ocean by Rob Pope. It was supposed to be the last song but, I was only 98% committed to it.

DADT =

Okay, a few of you mentioned DADT and I mean, not to be politically unaware but this story had nothing to  do with that. Now, personally really glad it got overturned because I think any form of discrimination is ridiculous in this day and age and it really shouldn't take all of this to change something that is so obviously wrong. Especially in a volunteer service, I mean really.

The taboo of the relationship between Haley and Maxwell is about social class and their positions in the military than anything else. In fact, Maxwell says he is bisexual (take that tropes) and never says anything about Haley being a boy being an issue for him.

Perspectives

I talked about persepectives a lot and that had a lot to do with perceptions of Haley. When I first wrote his character I knew he was older than Alan and I knew he knew he was older than Alan. I just couldnt think of a way to reveal that. Tnen when I reread part 1 I realized Maxwell said Haley looked 14 and that made you all think he was 14 which squicked a lot of people out. In that part Maxwell does know Haley is 22, he is just making a bad metaphor.

Anyway I'm not jumping on a Lolita bandwagon and I wanted to make that clear.

Interweaving.

As I said I wrote Sundays right after I wrote chapters 8 & 9, so the story was interwoven into it a lot. I thought I may point a few things out.

1. “I’m not a soldier,” he said walking to my other side, his boots making a soft clicking sound.

He stood closer to me--he smelled like sweet lavenders and vanilla."
                                                     - Chapter 7


- I hope this reference makes sense now.



2. Also Haley's talk about purgatory was part of this idea of brainwashing and how he truly believed in something that wasn't there.


3. The biggest thing is many of you thought it was Alan's fault that Haley got hurt (and I mean to each their own) but, I really wanted to say no it's not in the comments . Haley getting hurt had nothing to do with the alcohol or anything Alan did it had to do with Maxwell's own jealousy and insecurities. I was hoping some of you may pick up on his reaction being impulsive and an act of passion. I then added the conversation through the door but, no one picked up on it and I couldn't explain it so that really pushed me to post Sundays. I mean I think one of you picked up on their relationship.

 So, Inspired

Okay, so like I said Sundays was an inspired work and I finally tracked down the passage Haley's character was inspired by. Here is the line it's from  Slaughter-House 5. The main character 18 year old  American Soldier Billy, is in WWII, he is one of the few survivors of an attack, has been wondering around for days and some German soldiers find him :


" Next to the golden boots were a pair of feet which were swaddled in rags. They were criss crossed by canvas straps, were shod with hinged wooden clogs. Billy looked up at the face that went with the clogs. It was the face of a blond angel, a fifteen year old boy.


The boy was beautiful as Eve.


Billy was helped to his feet by the lovely boy, the beautiful androgyne"


Then the character is never mentioned  ever again and somehow I weaved this entire story out of that.

 It was just very inspired. And yes,  I know it was a little sexual but, that type of  erotic/unhealthy relationship is kind of what the story was about.

Endings

The end does suggest that they "broke up" and the ending was somewhat inspired by the end of the Color Purple, where  these two character who have battled the entire story, end  in an almost domestic and calm position. The last few lines when they say they are waiting for the others it refers to the other soldiers, the prisoners, the End is referring to  end of war and death refers to them dying in war. Which I will go ahead and say is highly unlikely because they don't work in a combat zone or a locaion that is a threat,

 So, okay enough of that story.

The New Website

The point of the new website was because I didn't want a new website for all of my serials or short stories. I was mildly happy with it and I could never figure out why it looks so off and after looking at Lile's redesign I know why. I should make the links look more like books than web banners. If I ever feel so inclined I may change them. It killed me I couldn't find the original graphic I used for UL.

Teenage Dream

As a writer/editor and reader, I love books but I can't read them all. Sometimes what I love most is just the title of the novel, I just love titles. Some of my favorites are "Of Mice and Men" "Catcher in the Rye" "The Sun Also Rises". What do they all have in common ?

They are named from poems. I have always wanted to name a novel or serial after a poem but, I figured the contemporary things to do was use a song instead so that is where Teenage Dream came from. I seriously wouldn't look to much into the title or the picture really.

This short story is done and I work on editing it every day and I will post after I finish Veritas. This is not the supernatural YA story. It is just a short story I came up with while I was writing Sundays. This story and Sundays have a bit in common stylistically but not plot wise . . . well kind off. Anyway don't worry about it oto much.

As for this YA supernatural, I am not sure it will ever come to be. I need a plot and some solid characters. I will keep you updated. Maybe I need to get more genre savvy.

Mimic

This part of Veritas had it's name long before I began Hidden. The concept of it was with me from the very beginning so, as I look back I realize this was a year in the making almost. This story  really got to have the time to float around and develop in my mind ( I feel a birth analogy coming on) before it came out. The story has really developed though and changed so much.

It is part of the CTE and Hidden canon but, I changed one little detail, it's just a spelling though. This story is written in a style that is very different (it doesn't show up until part II though . . .) it's a style I would personally hate to read but, I did it anyway for the sake of story.

Funny story, I had a deja vu with this while I was re-reading it in the editing phase,  I felt like I had read this story before somehow.  Also, I used a name and I am convinced I used it before. So, if any part of this sounds familiar let me know. It was very odd. Then again, it is once again another thing in Part II

Let's Try Something . . .

I worked on Mimic a lot in the editing. It starts out a little slow. I wanted the very beginning to have kind of a Wes Anderson asthetic to it. He is a film director, I couldn't find a good example of his ashthetic it but, you can kind of relate it to the show Pushing Dasies. Wikipedia describes it as

" . . . employing a deliberate, methodical cinematography, with mostly primary colors. His soundtracks feature early folk and rock music, in particular classic British rock. Anderson's films combine dry humor with poignant portrayals of flawed characters"

Mimic is shorter so, it will be in parts like Sundays was.

Mimic

I am having some link issues so, the banner goes to chapter 1 for now.

 Part 1

Playlist

Playlist in sidebar except for one song, I have to Youtube embed. I had a hard time finding songs that really fit, I had this issue with Hidden because so many songs are love songs out there. I was really pleased to find these songs that actually have a unifying theme.

-1- New Soul by Yael Namin.
-2-  Firework by Katy Perry ( I know)
-3- City of Black & White by Matt Kearney ( ***Youtube embeded****)
-4-  Dream by Priscilla Ahn ( I love this song, stole it from Lile)
-5- Come Home by One Republic Ft. Sara Barielles
-6-  Look After You by Lifehouse
-7- New Divide by Linkin Park

Shortest Blog Ever

Creative Block

I am so happy Lile is back to posting, I love her writing style and she always inspires me but, unfourtantely creative block is plaguing me.): I know the stories and plots I want to write I just can't come up with a creative way to write it so, I can't call it writer's block.

That is why Sundays was is so special to me because the story just came out of my fingers without a lot of work and it was addicting and fun. I'm not giving up, I am still set on telling some specific stories I just need to figure out how to keep it interesting and believable.

Part 4

*look out  for a special author's note at the end*

Playlist

- 1- The Stranger by Secondhand Serenade

-2- Red Hot Chili Peppers Instrumental

-3- Elephant by Damien Rice

-4- Times by Tenth Avenue North

-5- Decode by Paramore

When Life Gives You . . . Lemons?

I think putting up all of these posts so close together has caused me run out of blogging topics. So, this will be a pretty short entry.

As I have said I have found some really great music lately, and a lot of it has inspired me and Erik to consider making a wedding CD to give out at the wedding. Erik's daughter is staying in California until the new year so, after I explained to her what a CD was we have been working on possible song choices.

In before the wank

I have no idea why I gave this section that title. Anyway, I love you all at the forums but, I thought I may get a step ahead of you with pointing out all the tropes (yes, I went back).

Someone asked what made me decide to post this. I think it is important to understand why I didn't want to, firstly.  First of all the story has a lot of these.  Oh and this. I was also very hesitant of posting the sex scene, for many reasons but, mostly because I didn't want to  fill even more tropes on top of the ones I was already violating.

I know there is some criticism for the setting, the "family issues"    and  I am sure after posting all those links you are now reading this sentence an hour later.

I decided to post this because the story evolved and wrapped into the last few chapters of Hidden a lot ad added to the understanding. The biggest character is Dr. Channing, because a lot of people saw him as evil when he was really supposed to be the antithesis of evil. I also liked interweaving other characters and their different relationships into the story like the relationship between Sgt. Maxwell and Judge Brady.

Side Note

Something I never found a way to wrap into the story is that Haley has an intersex condition called psuedohermaphroditism, so, long story short he is pheotypically male but, genetically female.

Part 3

Part 3

The next post may be a while because I want to make headway on at least one serial before I post anymore shorter stories. I'm not sure if I should start on the new one I have swimming in my head (not the supernatural YA something else I have been plotting.) or finish up the Veritas trilogy. I am really hoping for a big spark of inspiration.

Playlist

Points to whoever can blindly guess which of these songs is from NBCs Scrubs !

-1-  Fire by Augustana

-2- World Spins Madly on by The Weepies

-3- Love The Way You Lie Part. II by Rhianna (Is is weird I kind of love this song ?)

-4-  Why by Secondhand Serenade (UL flashbacks !)

-5- Baby by Taylor Ward & Someplace Only We Know by Keane

-6- Sakura Kiss

She remembered to label a post !

Hello, all !

So, I don't know if I plan to stretch the postings of  Sundays because I want to rework the story or because I want more time to deal with writer's block of my other serials. I mean I kind of want to post this close together to keep the illusion of a continuing story. This was written as one long piece so, it is hard for me to find places to break it into parts. Anyway, as soon as I post this I will be googling writer's block cures. Okay, on to the blogging :

Dr. Channing

This is hinted at a bit in Hidden but, Dr. Channing was the one of the people hosting the fundraiser the Dory family was planning to attend in chapter 2 of Hidden. The Life Project was not keeping Minnow a secret and  Channing was actually using her case to campaign more funds and he would bring images to show people. Which is why in Chapter 2 Alan says if they had crashed the party things would have been different. They would have met Channing and potentially seen Minnow's picture and found out she was alive.

Of course upon hearing about their daughter's death the Dorys and all there friends never attended the fundraiser and no one saw her picture. Does that make sense ?





Pet Peeve 

Because in some sense the stories in the Veritas series take place in an "imaginary" world , I have taken liberty with names often using nouns as last names and things like that. I make the names match the character (although in some cases I make the name purposely contradict).

Haley was written for a long time with no name because he was kind of a special character to me. His story kind of materialized like I had known it the whole time. His character was very inspired  and I flirted with not giving him a name at all.

In some sense Haley's less than masculine qualities in Hidden were supposed to make up for the lack of females in this. With that in mind I wanted to give him a gender bender name or a very soft feminine name. I toyed with the names Shiloh and Trace. His name was actually Harlow for a little bit and for a long time it was Jamie but, then at the last minute I realized it looked like I was stealing Jamie Campbell Bower's identity.


In the end I gave him two unisex names that I found equally masculine and feminine.  Now, with that in mind here comes the pet peeve . . .  H-A-L-E-Y is a boy's name and H-A-Y-L-E-Y is a girl's name. It's weird how one letter makes the difference but, it does. I mean Shawn and Shawna are two different names and the name Joel brings a whole different idea than the name Joe. Okay, no more Grammar police.

Perspectives

I messed with this a little in UL2 and a bit in UL2  and a lot in IVB but, I have never really mixed perspectives like I am here. In IVB I switched POV's because I always planned to write a series from each characters POV and the characters in the book lead relatively independent lives and have their own storylines. The same goes for UL and UL2, I changed POV so we could be in more than one place at once.

In Sundays, the changing POV's is all getting different perspectives of the same places and the same people. This entire piece is all about perspective, keep that in mind. I mentioned this in the comments about the 3 perspectives but I wanted to say it again. Take Harlow for instance, to Alan Harlow's death had no affect on him and he saw it as crazy, Haley sees Harlow's death as emotional and sad while Maxwell sees Harlow's death as a big problem for him, almost an inconvenience.

Just remember you are seeing through their eyes and not from an impartial narrator. This whole "perspectives" section is me dancing around something that I want to tell you but, would rather let unfold in the story. It is nothing huge or plot central and, it won't come up until the end but, still . . .

On a side note I originally wrote the whole thing in 3rd person but, it felt to distant so I changed it in revision 1. . . . I just can't do 3rd person. I honestly feel the best person to tell how a character is feeling is the character themselves.

Part 2

So, I tried something different here with Haley's voice. To make it clear, there are times when he is talking to his dead brother, Harlow. I wanted to try something different but, I don't think this storytelling style will make a re-appearance.

Author's Note. I've said it a lot and I will say it again. I wrote this with very little intention of ever posting it. So, I will say some of you will totally hate me for parts of this chapter.


Part 2 

My playlist is a 50 songs now , don't know how many I plan to use.

-1- Heartless  cover by the Fray (second Kanye cover, I don't hate him just hate autotune)

-2- Save You by Matthew Perryman (Recycled from the Hidden  author's cut playlist.)

-3- Everything by Lifehouse  (Yes, I know that song. I kind of like it  though)

-4-Warm Whispers by Missy Higgins

-5- Lost by Anouk ( I feel like Lile has used this. Y/N ? I just went through SYTYCD 7 scavenging for music)

Ahhh ! 2 years and a 100 posts !

Okay, maybe not quite 2 years but, my first post was in August 2009 and it is almost 2011.

Brothers on a Hotel Bed

I've been meaning to blog about this for a while but kept forgetting to. Some people mentioned this song in relation to Jean and Alan's relationship and it made me start thinking about what exactly the title of the song means. The song itself refers to lovers who are growing apart as they get older and after some digging I think the best explanation for the title is that it refers to being apart.

I believe it is referring to if you stay in a hotel on family vacation and don't have enough beds so, 2 brothers or male friends have to share a bed. They will sleep on opposite ends to be as far apart from each other as possible. There will be a big gap in the bed. Whereas I think you could argue sisters or something may not mind sleeping closer together.

The song kind of relates to Jean and Alan's relationship at the time because, they are sitting so far apart from each other in the jail cell. Plus this moment marks the decline of their relationship in Hidden.

Hidden

I usually have so much more to say about a story when I end it but, I don't have much to say. There is not much to it except some rambling.

Orginigally, when Veritas was one piece I planned for Minnow to die as sort of the climax, then Jean and Alan  go on this undrafted adventure of sorts and then reveal she had lived. Only, that adventure of sorts never materialized and I decided to just split the story into parts. I felt it was getting to long anyway. On a side not I have totally forgot the parts of a story all I remember is climax and falling resolution.

Arcadia

I always created the concept of Arcadia (I hate to get all JK Rowling) with the intent of destroying it. Before there was ever any aspect of military in the story  I wanted Alan to come back to Arcadia and see it as a refugee camp of sorts. To see something so important to him destroyed by war. This idea was actually central to the story because it sparked the entire plot. I had mentioned this story was inspired by the earthquake in Haiti. Everything was kind of building towards that moment of him seeing this refugee camp but, that story got abandoned as well.


The Title

The title come from the storyline involving Luce that I tied up early on in Hidden. The fact that Luce had this thing hidden inside of him. It also comes up a few more times but, really Hidden is about not being able to see the things that are right in front of you. Take if for what you will.

Orginal Story

I have no idea why I want to mention the original story, it was so different than what came out but, I feel like blogging.

Originally, after Minnow and Saint died the rest of the crew went back to work as usual until something forced them to leave the LOLA. Alan goes back to his home and faces his dad (I had an epic song for this moment too) and there meeting is a bit more dramatic then he leaves. They head across the battlefields to Arcadia which is now a refugee camp and that is where he sees Minnow. . .  or something like that, okay . . . *stops rambling*


Sad note

On a sadder note, Saint died. That is why he doesn't come back for Minnow one day. I didn't see room in the story to really explain this so, I decided to blog it.

SH Future ( I need a cooler web nickname like LiLe of MaTow. Maybe I need a pen name . . . )

So, I have a lot working for the future. Which is funny because before I was worried this was it and I's fizzle out.

I am editing the 600 word flash fiction story that I think could spawn a short web serial.

I am drafting the final chapter of Vertias, which will be about 2- 3 chapters. I am very excited about it because it will be written very simply not a lot of overarching plot themes . . . or atleast that is how I want it to be.

 . . . And I have a little idea floating around in my head. It is a concept for what can only be described as a supernatural YA serial (No, there are no vampires or zombies). I have no plot, only a few character names so, I am waiting for that idea to solidify. I'm actually considering making it an re-interpretation of another story. It will probably be another short one. Don't worry to much on this because I have made no progress with it.

Oh wait !

I mentioned somewhere along the line, something I  drafted as author notes turned into something bigger than I thought. Well, as I was writing Hidden I poured over this other piece re-reading and editing it multiple times, flirting with the idea of posting it. 

I've decided to post it. It is more of a companion to Veritas than a sequel or anything.I would love for you all to regard this as a WIP but, it's really not. I have been looking at if for weeks. This is the first time I have soemthing from start to finish done before I post it.

With the nerves I have with posting this, consider this my Free Spirits.

Because this was kind of written in a big chunk, I didn't find any music along the way for it. I was still listening to the Hidden playlist so, some of the music will be reused from my other web serials and maybe even some LiLe web serials. She has one song in particular I have always wanted to steal !

@ LiLe -- Always, waiting for an update. Seriously, you are my muse so I am sure when you start posting it will only help me get more ideas. Can we get a time frame maybe ? Or a hint about something ? (jk, but, I have to advocate for the fans)




Sundays

Part 1

-1- Down by Jason Walker

-2- If I Die Young by Band Perry ( I know country music, prepare yourself)

-3- Between the Lines by Sara Bareielles

Wishing I had a more significant name for this post.

Chapter 8

So, I think a few of you got the wrong impressions from Chapter 8 and I debated whether to clear them up or not. Reader interpretation is so important to reading  but, I ulitmately realized those impressions could ruin the perception of the next chapter.

Dr. Channing


Dr. Channing is supposed to be a foil to the other military personnel Alan has met. Mostly, he is a foil to Dr. Frank. Dr. Frank wears a uniform and doctor's coat as a status symbol even though the wearing them impedes his full range of motion and makes his job more difficult.

Dr. Channing does the exact opposite and never acknowledges his military rank even though his is actually quite high. He does not wear the uniform unless he has to. Channing is Alan's superior but never acknowledges it, he sleeps the same place as Alan and treats him as an equal.

Also, Channing is the surname of Juliana and her dad's psychiatrist in UL2. I like the last name, I thought it sounded like a 'nice' name.

Shai & Griffith

So, Shai and Griffith's death were a part of that story structure I was talking about in my last posts. I added their storylines in chapter 8 to help better organize the chapter. I wanted to narrate Alan's experiences at Ft. Life through his interactions with the 2 men.

A story within a story . . .  kind of.  I wanted them to have the "first meeting",  "a moment between family ( Shai visiting Arcadia/ Griffith and his dad) " , "penultimate moments (Shai reorganizing Arcadia/ Griffith moving to Sector A" and finally "death/life".

I wanted their deaths to be ironic in that the one who was supposed to live died and the one who was supposed to die lived. 

Picspirations !

Persephone (Summer Glau, I know not the best image of her)

Shai (Robert Roldan from SYTYCD. He always inspired the character of Shai, I just forgot to mention it back in Veritas and couldn't bring it up without making it obvious he comes back in this.)
Persephone














Dr. Channing  (Based on RSL. This was a last minute inspiration but, I can't unsee)

Chapter 9

Okay, so on to Chapter 9. Once again a short playlist. Which is odd because I have a lot of music I love but, can't find a place for. One song is only on last.fm and I fought with it but, I can't embed it here so, I found a copy of it and  youtube mini-embed.

Chapter 9

-1- Better Day by Goo Goo Dolls
- 2- Same Things by Twintapes (Mini-embeded)